Baby Foodie

How do I feed thee? Let me count the ways.

In some respects we were kind of behind in the game of introducing solids to our young son.  Perhaps in others, we are ahead (see image of Ben using his spoon at 8 months - call me proud mama).

I guess I've always been a bit kooky about food.  Started way back when.  But that's a story for another day.  It led me here. To this place. Where I truly enjoy good food.  Where I understand the value of nutrition.  Let me re-state that... The value of nutrition.  (Poor nutrition, which most of us are raised to believe is good nutrition, is making most of us sick - if not now, later.)  A place where health and nourishment ride alongside trying new things, and yes, maybe, possibly, even being ever-so-slightly annoying to friends and family in the process.

Here's to always coming back to center.  A little left of center, actually.  Where I want my family to be.

Everyone's center is different.  Mine was duly established back in the early 80's with emphasis on love of vegetables... tolerated, though perplexing as heck to family and friends.  Raw, vegan and macrobiotics to the left....  Meat, dairy and my all-out junk food fests to the right.

Left of center.  A nice place to be.  Where we want to raise our Benjamin.

I read the book, "Feeding Baby Green," whilst I was pregnant.  It rode contrary to what a lot of pediatricians suggest for early foods.  I looked into super healthy diets, not really knowing what the heck I would actually do in real life, once I had a child.  I mean, wouldn't we end up going through the McDonald's drive-thru in the madness of getting from here to there, yada yada... You know the cliche soccer mom image... busy, busy, busy life with a child/children?  Or as a friend put it, "I can't wait to see you with your third child... You'll be throwing a bag of Cheetos at him."

Well, I've heard the saying, "Start as you mean to go."  And so.  And so, and so, and so.  That's what I mean to do.

Just recently over the shame and angst I felt from all the CRAP I ate while pregnant, I share with you now the ways in which we have fed and nourished our child.

Behind the game:  Nursing had been working out beautifully since birth, and I continued full-time as we let Ben explore foods.  But, Ben had some early gagging episodes that freaked me out.  Those were quickly followed by an actual choking incident involving a dry leaf.  We're talking, no air getting in, eyes running water, starting to turn color while David beats his back kind of choking.  Good God.  One of many heart attacks I will no doubt have as a parent.

With food, I had initially shied away from traditional baby foods, rice cereals and general purees, opting instead for (as the book had suggested) "real food" when he was ready.  I don't begrudge anyone one iota for wanting to do purees, making all your own baby food, purchasing baby food and doing rice cereals as THE DOCTORS say you should.  (Good grief... Anyone else out there think that pediatricians need to go back to school??  Ironically, the LEAST progressive, yet highly educated people I think I've ever met.  - Giving such old school advice all the time... like, let your baby cry multiple nights for an hour and a half all alone in the dark.  Um... no.  I digress, I digress...)

If you did give your baby some rice cereal, none of my beeswax. If you're thinking of starting your baby on rice cereal, here are some possible reasons why you might opt not to:
http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/12/nine-good-reasons-not-to-use-baby-rice.html

Anywho (hate people who say anywho?) Well, anywho, I was still nursing Benjamin a lot. I would say the vast majority of his nutrition was coming from nursing even up til now... at 11 months old.  Contrary to Benjamin's football linebacker-baby appearance, he wasn't terribly interested in eating a lot of real food. He was a sampler.  He'd try things, but not want a great quantity. Because of his gagging episodes, I gave him lots and lots of things in the little Munchkin net thingee.  I was comfortable with it because I knew it was safe, and it allowed him to sample lots of foods (grapes, chickpeas, cucumber) that I otherwise would have avoided.

Now, for the purists out there... Shouldn't that be a red flag?  If it's something we couldn't have done, historically speaking, is it what's best for baby?  Can you imagine what we did before blenders and formula and Munchkin netting thingees??  Hmm... Maybe, just maybe, we nursed for a long time, until baby was actually ready to eat real food mashed up, or (gulp), heaven forbid, pre-chewed by mama?  Who hasn't bitten a little piece of food off to a reasonable portion and fed it to baby?

Well, try as I might, I can't seem to stick to topic.

So - behind the game, oh yes.  Doctor says, doctor says.  But I do my research you know.  I was and am still confident in the way we chose to feed Ben later than most.  I harbor no remorse about not purchasing rice cereal, or making ice cube trays full of baby purees.  Ben's fine.  He's just fine.  Maybe I took the lazy route.  It's certainly been less effort eating this way.  The doctor would simultaneously tell me that he was extremely healthy in terms of weight and length, etc. but that I should change what I'm doing - nurse less and feed more solids.  We're getting there I'd say.

And, here we are.

Ahead of the game:  I actually say this lightly, because who's to say really.  But here's a sampling of what Benjamin likes to eat now.

Black bean soup (mashed up with a fork) with cumin
Guacamole with cilantro and lime
Smoothies with kale
Homemade refried beans (mashed up with a fork) with chili powder
Sweet potato lentil stew (again, mashed)
Butternut squash with shoyu
Hummus with paprika
Broth from a mushroom and barley soup
All manner of fruits that I break up: watermelon, cherries, strawberries, raspberries, bananas, peaches, plums, and on and on...

(I used to worry about giving too much fruit because of setting up a predisposition for sweets.  I don't worry about that anymore.  For goodness sakes.  If Benjamin gets addicted to fruits, I'll have bigger problems than that. ~~Did you know some people actually LIVE on fruits?  They're actually called fruitarians.  It's extreme, to say the least.)

All these foods mentioned above are simply what are on our dinner table.  He eats what we eat.  The only things I change are to salt food less, avoid cayenne pepper and to mash things up chunky style.  I know most kids his age are onto pasta and whole beans and such.  I'm still a little nervous and late on textures and stuff with him. But he's handling it all well now.

Because of my and my husband's love of good food, we want Benjamin to feel the same way.  I can't wait til he can help me in the kitchen.  They say that babies taste what you eat, through breast milk. So, if that's the case, he's accustomed to Indian spices, Chinese sauces, etc.

Okay, not to knock goldfish crackers and mac 'n cheese, because, hey, I consider mac 'n cheese to be one of the better comfort foods, along with chips and a pint of Ben and Jerry's... BUT - those things will just have to be the exception around here, not the rule.

I used to worry (gosh, I worry a lot) about having Benjamin feel different. Taking him some place, to a party, or a friend's house, and being the odd kid because I, his mother, would say something like, "Oh no, we don't allow him to eat that.  We're vegan," or some such thing.  Being a problem to people.  Being a nuisance.  Being 'those people'... But, then I remembered that almost every child I've ever met has been a picky eater (myself included).

When was the last time you were around a child at dinner when their parent DIDN'T say something like, "Oh, he/she won't eat that. They only like 'fill-in-the-blank."  Usually that fill-in-the-blank is filled with a rather plain, maybe even bland food.  (Something akin to white rice puree/cereal?? Perhaps.)

Once again, I apologize for sounding like a soap-box girl.  I am not here to judge anyone.  I am NO SAINT.  I have had my crying spells just like any other new parent (you all do that too, right?) over what I am doing and not doing right for Ben.

This blog is just to share a little slice of our lives and why we do the things we do.  No one can say I'm not at least thoughtful about our decisions... even if you think I'm dead wrong.

Now, if anyone has some advice about how to get my son to sleep through the night, I'm all ears!  I'm guessing more hummus isn't the answer.

See me E.C.

Transmission interrupted:  I have to interrupt my previous lines of thought, and the draft of my new post, to bring you this inspiring, crazy news about the business of when nature calls.  You may not want to hear this, particularly if you are not the mother of a small child.  And surely, Benjamin will want to strangle me later in life when he discovers that I've shared such personal information of his... But, heck, here goes anyway.

How to put this... Well, okay, so Benjamin needed to go to the bathroom.  And I took him.  And business was done.  Not the pee kind of business. He's done that lots of times. This was a milestone. It was the other kind of business.  Yeah, I was some kind of excited.  You could say that.  :D

E.C.  --> The modern lingo meaning 'elimination communication'.

My overly simplistic definition of E.C.?

Learn when your baby needs to go to the bathroom, and take him.  Or her.

Never heard of E.C?  Yeah, me neither til I was pregnant.  Funny how little seeds that are planted can actually give themselves to fruition over time.

I came across this method/way of life on some natural mama website something or other.  Newborns can go to the potty, they said.  I did the whole... "Whaaaat?" thing, and then disregarded it.  Crazy people.  Crunchy mamas.  Granola.  Mmmrhmm.  Hemp.

Came across it again sometime when Ben was a few months old by reading about/hearing about a book titled, "Diaper Free."  I thought... "That's really strange, but interesting."  Around that time, Ben had a horrible diaper rash that lasted for-freaking-ever, and after about 4 dr. appts., multiple prescriptions and loads of OTC creams and ointments, I did what seemed like the only thing I could do.  Naked time.  Healed him up in days.

While he was having his naked time, around 3 or 4 months old, I noticed that, hey... he's not just going to the bathroom all the time, all over the place.  Maybe there's something to that whole taking the baby to the potty thing.  But, I pushed it out of my mind again.  We were using gDiapers and I felt pretty good about that decision, with the biodegradable pads.  And there's enough to do and worry about with a new little one... so who's going to let their child go diaper-free??  What a headache! What a mess!  Right?

Still later, I read more about the subject. I don't know if it was the book I read, "Beyond the Sling," by Mayim Bialik (former Blossom star) or some other reason, but I decided to look into it further.  Did a little digging around online and here's what I found.

Elimination communication is just that.  It is not potty training. It is taking your baby to the potty when you think they need to go.  You know they need to go because of their cues, and routines.  Timing can be very valuable.  There is no punishment/reward thing in action. It is a no-pressure, no-worry kind of thinking.  This is good for me.  I worry about enough already.  This is meant to be easy.

Apparently, diapers are a very western invention.  People have been living diaper free in other parts of the world for many, many years.  The thinking is really that, babies don't want to pee and poop on themselves.  Surprised?  You know how animals (thinking of my sweet dogs here) have an instinct that they won't use the bathroom where they sleep?  That's why we keep our dog in our bedroom at night, and why some people crate them.  Well, it's similar with babies (so I've read).  As young as newborns, they will make some kind of sign (squirming, crying, etc.) before they 'go', and it can be slightly different for every baby.  They apparently don't want to go on themselves.  I have since discovered, what I believe to be proof of this in the following way.  Many times, Benjamin will have a dry diaper when he wakes up.  If I take him to the bathroom in the first 5-10 minutes after waking, he will go in the bathroom.  It's like he's holding it.

So, now doesn't it seem just a little bit weird that our babies spend 2-4 years in diapers, until suddenly one day, we begin to chastise them for peeing and pooping in their diaper, after that's what we taught them to do for so long.

Now this is vague, so I apologize for my poor memory... but, I read something about people in other parts of the world being baffled that we (in this country) nurse for a short time and use diapers for a long time, when they are the opposite, nursing for 3-5 years and almost never using diapers.

Okay, it's starting to sound like I'm on my soapbox again. But I assure you, I cast no dispersions on anyone who doesn't want to do this E.C. thing.  It's unconventional from our frame of view, and I totally get that.  I was hesitant myself, and even now, only do it part-time.

Back to the story...

Around the time Benjamin turned 9 months old, I figured, what the heck... Let's try mornings.  I let him go diaper free for the first two hours every morning before his first nap.  We have hardwood floors downstairs, so clean ups were very easy.  I just watched him closely as we went about our regular daily activities.  I noticed when he would go, and I would clean it up afterwards.  After a few days of this, I decided to take him to the potty by mimicking holding positions from what I had read online.  I've since found multiple ways to hold him so he'll go.  I also bought a potty training seat.

Requirements: 

1) You have to be okay with accidents.  That alone will stop most folks right there. But, let's face it. If you have a child, you've been peed or pooped on, or both.  Floors and clothing clean up. 

2) You have to be motivated in some way for your child to be diaper free.  Benefits include... saving money on diapers, giving your child more air-time/less diaper rash and discomfort, holding a child without a bulky diaper on, experiencing a greater connection with your child, etc.  There's actually 75 reasons 75 Reasons to go Diaper-Free (click Practicing EC) so find one that speaks to you.

At first Benjamin wasn't sure what to do when I held him over the toilet, but I knew he needed to go. So, I would pour a little warm water on his lap.  This would usually make him go, and as he peed, I would make this sound, "Spssppsspppspspss."  I was so amazed by this.  By the third day, Ben was peeing in the toilet 6 times a day.  I was stunned.  David was stunned.  Eventually, Benjamin began to pee without the warm water on him, but just the sound.  He has done this with me, with David, on different toilets, including his potty chair, and most recently, with a small audience.

This is great, but how in the world do people do this all the time?  On car trips? In grocery stores? Overnight?  Now, that, I haven't quite figured out yet.  When we are out and about a lot, Ben stills wear his diapers. When we are upstairs on the carpet, Ben wears his diapers.  And I'm okay with that.  If you read online at all, you can find loads of suggestions from people who do this 24 hours a day.  They will 'pee' their babies in the middle of the night by keeping a small potty beside the bed, or will put wool layers on the bed in case of accidents, etc. I'm not there yet.

But I am thrilled that we've been able to do this part-time.  One of the major questions I had was how to get him to the potty if he had to do more than just pee.  So, now we've come full circle. Back to how I started this post, which is this.  Babies will make a sign that they need to do that kind of business.  You take them to the bathroom, and they will go.  You just have to be quick.  ;)  (And refer to requirement #1 above... You have to be okay with accidents.)  The cool thing about this too, is that clean up was a snap.  No poopy diaper, smeared disaster area.  Nice and neat!

I don't know what life will throw at me. No one does.  Maybe I can continue this, maybe I can't.  But the times when it works is gratifying enough to make me want to try.  Maybe you're up for it too??